Messy Relationships, Blog 3: My Sin, I Can’t Get Away From It

I’m a sinner. I sin. I hate it. I long for the day when sin no longer clings to me like dust on my feet.

I’m a sufferer. I endure hardship and loss. I get wronged, used, and sinned against. I long for that day when people can no longer hurt me with their sin.

I’m a saint. I’ve been redeemed by Christ and His atoning work on the cross for my sin. I’ve been given a new identity where people’s words, perceptions, and actions no longer hold sway over me. And yet ... somehow that identity feels like the first to slip out of my grasp.

My Sin Goes with Me

If only it was as easy to leave behind my sin as walking away from a messy conversation. I’ve done that a “few times” with my wife. Yet it never seems to ease the tension or deal with the sin that caused the problem in the first place. You can walk away from the relational mess, but that doesn’t deal with the mess in your own heart. You can ignore that feeling of guilt, shame and isolation that sin creates, but that solves nothing in your heart or your relationships. The truth is - the more you walk away, ignore, and isolate, the more control your sin has over you. And it doesn’t have to! The work of Christ has eliminated the penalty of sin. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). I often ask myself the question: “Why am I trying to pretend I don’t sin when Christ has already died for my sin?” It’s like being scared of my shadow. It has no power to hurt me. Solid Gospel thinking is needed all the time to, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12).

I Can Own My Sin

Conflict comes not when two sinners (or more) sin. It comes when they fail to admit their sin. If we have fully grasped the work of Christ obliterating the power of sin’s judgment against those in Christ ... then what are we hiding from? This is where the enemy trips up so many of us. My self-righteous behavior can rule the day somehow believing my goodness earns me greater standing before God and others. When in fact it only produces greater relational conflict and internal strife. The finished work of Christ invites me to declare - “This is what I did, I hate it, Christ paid for it, I can own it, turn from it, and walk in freedom.” It also brings an attitude to my relationships where I can say, “I’m sorry, that was my pride, I hate that I hurt you with my words, please forgive me.”

You can freely declare and freely rejoice that, “You're a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you're more loved than you ever dared hope.” (Jack Miller)

Mark Spansel, Grow Pastor